Well-Being in the Legal Profession

Often the single most important thing you can do to help a colleague experiencing a distressing situation is simply to be supportive. How you approach the discussion will depend on your relationship and circumstances, and the following steps can help guide your conversation:

1. Try to have the discussion at a time and private place where you provide your undivided attention and where the chances of interruption are minimized. 
2. Ask how your colleague is doing to gauge what information they may feel comfortable sharing. It’s common for people to say they are fine even when they aren’t. If this happens, you could proceed to tell them that you are concerned about them, describe the behaviours that have caused you to be concerned and ask how you can help. 
3. If your colleague expresses that they don’t feel comfortable talking with you about the situation, don’t pressure them. Your role is not to be their counsellor or make decisions for them, but rather to offer support. You can offer to find someone else they can talk to or offer to call one of the numbers listed below for professional support. 
4. If your colleague wants to talk with you, let them talk. Ask open-ended questions as appropriate, don’t interrupt, don’t minimize or judge their concerns, and don’t try to diagnose or solve their problems unless you are qualified and in a position to do so. 
5. Acknowledge what your colleague is sharing and reiterate that you are here to listen. Ask if they have a family member, friend or professional they can reach out to once your discussion ends. Share the contact information for the professional supports in your area and ask if there is anything else you can do to help your colleague take the next step in reaching out to others.
6. Follow up. Depending on your relationship and circumstances this could be the next day or a short while after. Following up shows you care and that your colleague is not alone. Whether you support your colleague on a more long-term basis will depend on the nature of your relationship and your personal situation. Simple gestures like stopping by your colleague’s office to say hi or going for coffee can mean a lot to someone experiencing challenges or feeling alone.

It’s common to be afraid that you will say the wrong thing, but it’s often better to risk saying the wrong thing, which likely won’t be a bad as you think, than to say nothing at all.