Managing boundaries is essential for maintaining well-being as a lawyer. Boundaries establish guidelines, limits and rules that define what is acceptable and unacceptable to you. The absence of or inconsistency in managing boundaries can lead to a significant amount of stress, time and energy drain, and potential resentment towards others in your life.
Nedra Glover Tawwab writes in Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, that there are six types of boundaries — physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, material and time — and that time is the boundary people struggle with most. Examples of time boundary violations at work include someone contacting you outside of work hours repeatedly for non-emergency situations, expecting you to always be available and asking you to provide unpaid labour.
The first steps in managing boundaries are to understand and define your own personal needs against what is realistic for your environment and proactively communicate them. While this may sound challenging, you likely already do some form of boundary setting and management in your work life. One example of this in the private practice setting is all the things a lawyer proactively communicates to clients in initial conversations and the retainer letter to help the clients understand what the lawyer can and cannot do for them. Examples include the fee to be charged, retainer requirements, office hours, response time to communications, and the limitations on the type of instructions you can accept.
Proactively communicating your boundaries to your colleagues, manager and others may not be as readily available, but there are still ways you can communicate your boundaries early and often. Consider the following examples:
- When you receive an email during regular working hours that includes a request, you could reply with a short note that states “Thank you for your email, I will reply to you within the next x hours/days.” This acknowledges that you have seen the request and communicates that you have determined when you will be able to respond. Ideally, this minimizes unnecessary follow ups from the other person and alleviates your responsibility to reply to any follow ups before the time you established.
- If you receive a non-emergency email outside of regular work hours, choosing not to respond until the next business day communicates a boundary that you do not work during off-hours.
- When you will be away from the office, communicate in your Out of Office notification when you will respond to emails. If you want to communicate that you will not respond to emails while you are away, you could state “I will respond to your email upon my return to the office.” Or more directly “I will not be accessing my email while away and will respond to your email upon my return to the office.” If your practice includes matters that may be time-sensitive, consider including the name and email address of the person(s) who can assist in your absence.
- Block time in your calendar for work that requires focus.
- Block time in you calendar to communicate to others when your workday begins and ends.
- If someone asks you to take on more work by a specific deadline when you are already overloaded, you could thank them for thinking of you and indicate that based on your current workload you are not be able to meet the noted deadline. If appropriate, you could offer to complete the work by another date that is manageable for you. This approach can be helpful when communicating with senior colleagues or managers as it provides context for why you can’t help and confirms your interest in working with them in the future. It can also help them reflect on whether the deadline is set or can be adjusted to help balance workload.
- If someone asks you to take on an obligation and you aren’t sure if you can commit, you could reply that you need to get back to them on that. This is particularly true if you tend to have trouble saying no. This will give you time to think about what you can realistically offer in line with your boundaries and consider your response.
When considering how you respond to requests, focus on what you can control and are capable of. When communicating with others, using “I” statements will ensure you are focusing on your actions rather than trying to enforce what others do.
The key to managing your boundaries is to set them early, be consistent and get used to any discomfort associated with communicating them. If you do not like saying no or disappointing others you may feel some discomfort at first, and you may also experience some resistance or push back. It is important to be steadfast in these moments and not feel pressured to relax your boundaries to accommodate others. Over time, people will adjust to your boundaries and are likely to accept and even respect them, and you ultimately will be healthier for it.
Your boundaries can change over time as your needs and goals change. Consider reflecting on your values and boundaries at least once a year to determine what changes may be needed.
Managing boundaries in the workplace can be particularly difficult for those that are newer to the profession. Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers’ How to Say NO to Work: Diplomatic Boundaries for Lawyers + Law Students provides helpful tips when working with senior colleagues and managers.